2 reasons?

Apparently...  I'm not allowed to sing "I only came for the bitchez & the drinks, bitchez & the drinks" while I wait for my drink at the coffeemaker at work.

Arguing neighbors

Dear arguing neighbors,

Saying she was "acting like a bitch" IS the same thing as calling her a bitch, Bob... 

Judy, stop acting like a bitch.

Bacon House

I love coming back home from a run & my house still smells like bacon from breakfast...

Just kidding, I don't run...
Andddd I didn't leave the house today.

I did in fact, cook & eat a whole pack of bacon & went out to get the paper.

Healthy Living

Low calorie breakfast- ✅
Healthy salad for lunch✅
Light dinner✅
Make & eat an entire birthday cake at midnight & erase the entire day- ✅

🎂🍰🎂🍰🎂🍰🎂🍰🎂🍰🎂

Where ma dogs at?

DMX-Grrr

Vet-Umm, Hello...
DMX-Where ma dogs at?
Vet-Umm, when did you drop him off?

DMX-Where ma dogs at?

Vet-  Sir, What's your pets name?
DMX-Where MA, DOGS, AT?...
Vet-Sir, I can't help you if you don't...
DMX-GRRRRRR!

Vet-  ...I'm calling the police.

My Tweets

If I had a nickel everytime someone called me Obsessive Compulsive...
I would have precisely five thousand, two hundred & eighty-one nickels

Twitter: @dallani