Those are NOT snacks...

When I said bring over snacks... I didn't mean carrots and celery and dip and shit.

Ode to the Farmer's Daughter

Ode to the Farmer's Daughter

You're so hot...
I like your weird arm tan...
You're freakishly strong...
Your dad shot at me...
Your shoes smell like horse shit.

Gym time, maybe?

I'm "tore a tricep using a stapler" out of shape.

Butterball

Ever buy 2 McDonald's meals for yourself, but get 2 different drinks so they think you have a friend at home?..
But there's no friend.